The biggest problem with 24-hour news stations is finding enough "news" to fill 24 hours. The major problems of the world, at least as far as those of us not directly involved are concerned, can be adequately summarized in a one-hour space each day. In fact, that's exactly what media has done for decades. It was only comparatively recently that someone thought it a good idea to summarize the same items again and again ad nauseum.
Funny thing, I didn't even notice Ms. Aguilera's lyric flub on Sunday Night's Superbowl. But turning on the radio the next morning, I actually began to wonder whether a football game had been played at all. As far as the news outlets were concerned, anything and everything of interest that evening ended with a "rocket's red glare."
Yes, I actually heard the term "lyric malfunction". Which reminded me that this wasn't the first time the sport (the whole point of the event) was pre-empted by the lacklustre, overblown musical performance meant to keep the drunks amused during breaks in play. Apparently, "the Twitter feeds were abuzz" all night with talk about the mistaken words.
And yet, with all of this coverage, comment, and conversation, not ONE news outlet addressed what I believe to be the most important question stemming from this event...
"WHO CARES?!?!"
I love silly stunts and YouTube, don't get me wrong. Watching some numbnuts try to snowboard off his roof and ending up ass-over-tip in a tree is a great way to get a laugh. But it would be a lot less funny if, after said idiocy, the hosts spent the next 48 hours or so discussing its implications.
"Did you see when he went in the tree?"
"Yes, I was thinking...how could you be so dumb as to snowboard off your roof?"
"Right, and then he ended up IN the tree."
"I wonder if he realized he'd made a mistake."
"Yeah, I could see his face, I think he realized. But by then, of course, it was too late."
"So what do you think will happen now?"
"Well, I think he'll keep snowboarding, but maybe not off anymore roofs.
"Yeah, or at least if he does, he'll make sure there aren't any trees around!"
"Ha ha ha! Too right. Well, to discuss the whole 'moron-in-a-tree' aspect of American life, let me introduce our panel..."
And so on. That would be the worst episode of AFV ever, because they'd only show one clip and spend the rest of the time reviewing it. That's not comedy. That's not even news. It's what twenty-four-hour-a-day news is...a waste of time.
