Sunday, April 8, 2012

Grammar Lesson

WARNING! THIS POST CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT!

As a devoted student of English and, at the same time, an unrepentant s***-disturber (I'm keeping the first paragraph clean in order to post a preview without offending any online censors) I'm sad that I never came up with this until now. This would have been a wonderful submission for a grade school vocabulary test.


The Parts of Speech:

For today's lesson we are going to examine the parts of speech in the English language and, to emphasize the lesson, we will take a single word and show how its context actually determines its role in the sentence. This word is "fucking".

VERB: A word describing an action. "They were fucking all night long."

NOUN: A person, place or thing. "The sound of fucking kept him up all night."

ADJECTIVE: Describes a noun. "He is a fucking maniac."

ADVERB: Describes a verb or an adjective. "They wouldn't fucking stop" or "That was fucking insane".

INTERJECTION: Expresses emotion. "Fucking jerks!"

ARTICLE: Specifies a noun. "The man who's noisy lovemaking kept me awake." = "Fucking guy!"

Does everybody understand? Excellent. You are now ready for adulthood.

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